One Simple Self-Care Practice Will Help A Busy, Stressed Mom
Moms can feel like they’re caught in the wash, rinse, repeat cycle of the Mother-Load.
A group of moms were polled and 85% of them said that they didn’t feel supported by their family or society. Today, motherhood is a very different thing. It didn’t used to be this way. We’re living in a society that’s heaped an unrealistic amount of responsibility on moms. Moms handle most of the dirty work and unpaid labor for the family. If she’s a working mom, she’s chastised for kids running around in the background on Zoom calls, while Dad’s catch a huge break and are even lauded for handling the kids while working. The situation for a lot of moms is definitely lopsided. If this is you, then maybe it’s time to decide to make some changes to take care of yourself. Give yourself permission to make yourself a priority.
Setting boundaries is one, doable practice. It’s one of the most important steps a mom can take to help her get some more time back in her day. Now, this is going to take some practice. And, it’s going to take some awareness. As a mom, you may have been doing all that you do for so long, it just feels like it supposed to be that way. Right now, we’ve all had to stop with shelter in place, so a lot of things are becoming more apparent….old routines and habits are needing some updating. Responsibilities shifted. Reviewing how you set boundaries will help you make some much-needed changes. Here are the types of boundaries we create:
- Porous Boundaries:
- Rigid Boundaries:
- Healthy Boundaries:
It helps to first understand what healthy boundaries are. Most of us weren’t even taught. I know I sure wasn’t, because my Mom wasn’t taught. This is why it’s so great for you to learn how to establish healthy boundaries, because you’re modeling for your kids.
Here are some guide-lines for setting healthy boundaries:
- Let go of the guilt. Your time and energy are valuable. Spend it wisely.
- Listen to your feelings. If you’re feeling unsafe, uncomfortable, confused, powerless, vulnerable, embarrassed, scared…more than likely you’re experiencing a boundary violation.
- Start saying NO! This can be tough at first, and gets easier and easier. If you’re really having a hard time, it might be time to acknowledge the unhealthy side of “people pleasing”
- Speak up. Ask for what you want.
- Let other’s do for themselves, especially if they’re an adult. You’ll regulate this for your kids, based on their age.
- Pivot into Plan B. When things change, keep a Plan B in your hip pocket, so you know the alternatives you’ll accept.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risks disappointing others.” Brene Brown
If you’re an exhausted, stressed out mom and would like some more support. You can reoms.coach out to me at support@selfcareprojectformm or check out SELF-CARE PROJECT FOR MOMS PROGRAM. Or, you can reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Sending you love and support, from one mom to another! Lorie